When I started my junior year at EWU last year, I went into my first class of the day, Organic Chemistry I. By chance I sat down next to a tall bald guy who immediately introduced himself with an infectious enthusiasm. We hit it off really well, and began meeting to study O-chem. Kevin and I quickly grew to have a strong friendship, one built upon our similarities. We were both non-traditional students, were both pre-med and most importantly, both Christians. As the quarter progressed, Kevin and I developed our routine: we would meet up almost daily after classes were over to study Organic Chemistry. We were both very focused on doing well, and through our hard work the two of us had the top two grades in organic chemistry.
As a result of our positive results in Organic I, Kevin and I decided to ensure we had several classes in common for winter quarter, since we enjoyed working with one another. Kevin and I sat next to each other in our classes, not only explaining things to one another, but often bantering back and forth, just goofing off for the sake of it. Our friendship was now one that had grown and we talked not just about school, but would debate and discuss our views on Christianity (we both shared the same disillusions with many aspects of the Church), our marriages. Kevin was a great father and loved children. As such, he was always encouraging and excited for Alison's pregnancy. In fact, Kevin was the very first person to know about our pregnancy. Kevin and I were settling in for our first organic chemistry test of the year when Alison called me just ten minutes before the test began to tell me the news (nice timing, honey!) and naturally I turned to Kevin and gave him the news (for the record, despite that ignominious timing, I earned the highest grade in the class on the test).
Despite how short we had known each other, Kevin had grown to be one of the closest friends I had. A true brother. Spring quarter rolled around, and yet again, we arranged to share classes and continued with our studying routine, meeting at a local coffee shop almost daily. By this time we were in organic chemistry III and our first test was scheduled for the Friday of the second week. Kevin and I would usually start studying intently 4 days before a test to ensure we had a mastery of the material and concepts. However, we got off to bit of a late start on this test, waiting until Wednesday to start studying. Our classes that day, April 15th, ended at 2 PM. Kevin and I walked out of our classes, discussing our studying plans for the night. I had a chemistry lab project that was due and had to be done at the school. I estimated it would take an hour to complete, and informed Kevin I'd meet him at just after 3 PM at a local Jack in the Box; one that had lots of empty tables in the back that were always empty and relatively quiet.
God works in odd ways, his timing and reasons beyond my comprehension. As I began my project, it became clear right away that it was not going to take an hour, and my frustration over losing even more precious studying time, time that was now short due to my own procrastination led to me uttering some choice words in the lab. I called Kevin at 3:08 PM to tell him I'd be late. He acknowledged, saying it wasn't a big deal and that he'd be there whenever I arrived. That call was the last time anyone talked to Kevin.
After completing my project at a belated 4:30 PM, I left campus and drove to the Jack in the Box. Pulling into the parking lot, Kevin's Honda was parked by the entrance and I parked next to his vehicle. Going inside, I walked in, turned the corner . . . and nothing. No Kevin. No books, no papers, no trace whatsoever. I checked the bathroom. Empty. I asked the manager if she had seen anyone in the back. She said she hadn't. Finding this decidedly odd, I called Kevin. No response. I left a message stating my alarm and puzzlement at finding his car there, but not him. Little did I know, but my friend was already gone.
Kevin died there, in that Jack in the Box of sudden cardiac arrest. Apparently, he had been at the tables in the back, studying alone when the Lord took him. There were two paramedics who happened to be buying food at the time, who saw Kevin collapse out of his chair and they attended to him immediately. He had already been taken to Sacred Heart by the time I got there, where after working on him for over an hour, Kevin was declared dead.
I would not find out until the next day. Due to his failure to return my call after the bizarre incident of seeing his car at the Jack in the Box but not him, I was already concerned. First period on Thursday, no Kevin. Second period, no Kevin. Third period was Biochemistry, and we had a quiz that day, surely he would be there. No Kevin. By this time, I was openly concerned, remarking to a few of the people who sat next us about my odd experience the night before at the Jack in the Box. At the end of the period, our professor announced that if anyone was friends with Kevin Wood, they needed to stay after class. It was there that I was informed of the passing of my close friend, one of the singularly devastating moments of my life.
My drawn out lab the day before would end up being a final opportunity for Kevin and his family. Usually we would go straight to studying and would rarely go home until late each night. Kevin had gone home after class since I was lagging behind, and as such Kevin saw his family one last time. Kevin and his wife talked. He played peek-a-boo with his 10 month old at the top of the stairs as he left. Kevin walked out to his car only to find he had forgotten his keys, and went back inside and kissed his wife again goodbye. I am so glad that Kevin's last hours were spent with his family and not me. It haunts me to this day that had I not been delayed with my lab project I would have likely been seated across from Kevin when he passed and his family would have been deprived of that last interaction. Kevin proceeded from his home to the Jack in the Box at about 3 PM. I called him at 3:08 PM, the last phone call logged according to his family. He collapsed only 15 minutes later.
Kevin's passing has been one of the hardest things I've experienced. I've lost close relatives and family friends before, but they were always elderly, often at end of long term illnesses. Their passings seemed inevitable and merciful given the pain many of them were in. Kevin's death provided no such catharsis. He was a fit, energetic, charismatic person who exuded life. I still cannot fully understand how someone I last saw so full of happiness and friendliness could be dead an hour later. The pathologist who performed the autopsy came back puzzled. Kevin was a healthy, fit 33 year old who had died due to his heart spontaneously "crossing its wires" and stopping. No real reason for his heart attack was definitively established. I think Kevin's brother summed it up best at the funeral: God simply took him. Death is no longer as frightening and unsettling to me, God has used this to highlight just how ingrained in this temporary world our minds are, how elusive an eternal perspective is for our finite minds.
Kevin was someone I felt was going to be lifelong friend, an "inner circle" type who I would confide in, trust, and fellowship with. One realization I had after Kevin's death was that in the 7 months of school prior, I had spent more time with Kevin than anyone else, even my own wife. Having such a jarring transition, having my daily routine completely and irreversibly disrupted was brutally unpleasant. Going back to school the next day and having his empty seat next to me in our classes. Studying by myself was boring, cold, and seemed meaningless. Kevin and I had been so intent on our studies, that we never really met apart from our study times. Not to say that we didn't have times where we just talked and goofed off for a few hours instead of studying, but for the most part we were serious, diligent students. We often talked about how much we were looking forward to the summer, when we would be able to meet up at his house and go out onto the new deck he had built and drink beer together. We had plans for possibly even trying to take our families on a trip together.
I have had many days of extreme sadness. I've cried as hard as I've ever cried. Processing his death has been a long, emotional process. From my very first thought upon hearing Kevin was dead ("God, how could you let him die in a f&%@ing Jack in the Box!!") to the cold reality of seeing his daughters, who look just like him, knowing they would likely not have a memory of their father, the injustice of the situation is withering. I still haven't been able to bring myself to erase his phone number from my blackberry.
It's funny how there are some small moments in life that seem unremarkable and insignificant, yet prove to be completely otherwise. Kevin and I would often carpool to EWU from our homes on Spokane's South Hill. Last spring, just weeks before his own passing, we were in the car on I-90 when we went by an accident, one that looked bad, bad as in unsurvivable. One moment that in retrospect now sticks with me was Kevin's reaction. We each looked at the mangled truck with the same uneasy thoughts of our own mortality going through our heads. Kevin turned to me and with reserved amazement, commented how quickly our lives could end, how precarious our own body is. A strangely prophetic moment.
As I stated earlier, Kevin loved children. It meant alot that Kevin was always asking how Alison's pregnancy was coming along, always encouraging us and enthusiastically stating the new ways I was going to see life after our child was born. Due to his pivotal role, having been the first person to know outside of me and Alison, to the fact that he was a consistent "cheerleader" for Alison's pregnancy, I named my son, Aron Kevin, after my absent friend. I miss him dearly, and the fact that he never got the opportunity to hold my son is one of the great disappointments of my life. I pray my son will grow to be a man of equal stature. Kevin's family has maintained a memorial website for him located at www.rememberingkevinwood.com. I encourage everyone to go there as it is a beautiful site with many great photos and stories about him, just follow the link.
RIP my friend. I believe we will meet again.
1 Corinthians 15:51-58
- 51.
- But let me tell you a wonderful secret God has revealed to us. Not all of us will die, but we will all be transformed.
- 52.
- It will happen in a moment, in the blinking of an eye, when the last trumpet is blown. For when the trumpet sounds, the Christians who have died will be raised with transformed bodies. And then we who are living will be transformed so that we will never die.
- 53.
- For our perishable earthly bodies must be transformed into heavenly bodies that will never die.
- 54.
- When this happens, when our perishable earthly bodies have been transformed into heavenly bodies that will never die, then at last the Scriptures will come true: "Death is swallowed up in victory.
- 55.
- O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting?"
- 56.
- For sin is the sting that results in death, and the law gives sin its power.
- 57.
- How we thank God, who gives us victory over sin and death through Jesus Christ our Lord!
- 58.
- So, my dear brothers and sisters, be strong and steady, always enthusiastic about the Lord's work, for you know that nothing you do for the Lord is ever useless.
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